The Concept of Divine Friendships

There are certain seasons in our lives where we have to focus solely on God and one thing we fail to do is to ask God for the wisdom to go about it the right way without hurting the people around us.

I find it rather cliche that people have so much to say about having and maintaining friendships, but nobody really talks about what losing beautiful friendships feels like. It really is one of the most painful heartbreaks one can experience.

Hi, my name is Edna, and I'd like to share a very personal friendship break up I have experienced. It made me question my personality for a while, if I'd actually been a good or bad friend. I do hope my story makes you question yourself less.

There was a time I used to believe all good friendships were meant to last forever. I had a very good friend called Dina. We believed our friendship was so special because we mutually grew a liking towards each other. We were so close that people often called us sisters. There was no Edna without Dina and no Dina without Edna.

We met in secondary school but we weren't in the same class. Dina was a year ahead of me, but it didn't matter, at least to us. After school, she would stop by my class so we go to the dining hall or hostel together. We always spent time together, did things together, and shared similar interests. All was good until Dina had to graduate from school.

As expected, I felt really sad about it. My one true friend was leaving. We both didn't want our friendship to end, so we made promises to keep being friends after school. I had hoped we would end up in the same university. The plan was to focus on my exams and pass excellently so that nothing would stop me from joining her.

After Dina left, we kept in touch, and it didn't feel like we were separated by distance. Some months later, Dina, being a talented singer, decided to pursue her passion in music. She started taking music lessons and became better at singing. She would record music, mostly secular music, and post it online.

I was so happy for my friend and I became really supportive. I would cheer my friend,help her share her music, do whatever she asked of me, and tell everyone about my talented friend. I made sure to do anything to make Dina feel supported. I had believed that Dina was going to be great, and I really was rooting for her.

Some months later, I was finally done with secondary school, but I couldn't make it into the same university as Dina. I felt hurt, but that didn't stop me from speaking to my friend. I just believed we could continue being friends. I sometimes noticed how Dina wasn't so interested in talking to me, but I didn't think much of it.

One day, I went online to view Dina's page and noticed that she had cleared away all her posts. I was worried and I asked Dina about it. Dina simply said, "I'm rebranding." In my commitment to always be supportive of her, I took Dina's words for it and decided to trust the process even though I didn't really understand what she meant.

I began to notice that Dina was becoming distant, but I still tried to talk to her a few times. Most of those times, I got really vague responses from Dina. I still didn't think much of it. After several attempts to get through to my favourite person without getting proper responses, I decided to give her some space, in case it was what she needed.

I was scrolling on Instagram on a Wednesday afternoon when I saw a post made by Dina. I was genuinely happy to see Dina on my timeline, and that was when I understood what Dina meant by "rebranding." She was back, and she began building her online presence again. This time, as a gospel singer.

One thing struck me, Dina felt different this time. She seemed to have become stronger in her faith and even closer to God. It made me so happy. I was so proud of Dina, and I expressed how I felt about the new version of Dina. I admired the change and felt encouraged to also grow in faith. I also hoped we could save our friendship.

The new change made Dina popular, and she became even more distant than ever before. No matter how much I tried to reach her, I just couldn't keep up. I was slowly losing her. I was beginning to feel hurt, but I kept giving excuses for her behaviour. Maybe she was just busy with school and her music career, I thought, severally.

The last straw was when I noticed she was no longer responsive on WhatsApp, and I decided to reach out to her on Instagram. I checked in on her and asked about it. I just didn't want to believe that she was ignoring my texts, so I lied that I lost her number. She gave me her number and asked me to text her. Alas, she ignored me again!

That move made me connect the dots and realise that she had checked out a long time ago. Oh, I was really hurt. I felt disappointed that the friendship that we built for years had crumbled. The fact she still hasn't addressed the issue to date makes me believe that she never cared about it. Maybe I just overestimated the depth of the friendship.

I questioned my personality and intentions severally. Just, maybe I didn't do something right, or it was one-sided all that time. I also considered the possibility that she felt I was probably going to draw her backwards in her journey of becoming a gospel minister. No matter what it was, an uncomfortable conversation would have given me a little closure.

I'm grown now, and even though it took a while to completely let go, I do believe that not all friendships are to last forever. Even the divine friends that God gives us have a role or more to play in our lives, and when they do, the friendship may fade completely. I must have played my role in her life, and I had to move on.

Now, I'm blessed with a group of wonderful friends, and this has made me realise that divine friendships were never made to be easy. It involves two or more people with different paths brought together by God to grow together, to nurture and build a beautiful relationship that contributes to purpose and destiny.

Dear reader, I do hope this brings you a little form of clarity.