I was a better Christian when I was younger.

I was a better Christian when I was younger.

I was wondering, what happened?

How did I get here?

Was it overfamiliarity, or am I not just in love with God like I used to be?

In my childhood/teenage years, I was a devoted Christian. I was consistent with reading my Bible, did my devotions, and I even evangelized. I had my personal retreat days and my fasting days too. But now, I even struggle to just read my Bible. What am I saying? I struggle to do everything.

Prayer feels like a chore.

Reading my Bible feels so boring.

And right now, I am even too shy to speak to people about Christ.

Where did I go wrong?

I left my first love.

I allowed the vain activities of this world to choke our love.

I got too busy; I didn’t create time for the One who loved me.

I broke our relationship and didn’t fulfill my part of the contract.

And yet, this same Jesus still died for me, even if He knew that a thousand years later, I might still reject Him. Oh! What love.

While thinking, I heard the Holy Spirit say to me, “Return to your first love.”

No matter what I had done, He was still there to love me.

Right there, I broke down in tears and marveled at the wonderful love of God.

I told Jesus that night, “Help me love You the way You want to be loved.

Help me choose You over and over again.

Help me, Jesus. I want to love You.”